Take time to understand

Whew!!!

It's been a while since I've blogged. Moving to Peoria a few months ago, getting settled, and homeschooling my daughter, Heather, have consumed a lot of my time and my brain. It's weird when you have those times in life where you just don't know what to say. Maybe there's nothing left inside my brain. I think when kids come to live with you - your brain starts to leak out until finally it's all gone. But... I think this has been one of those times in my life when I've just needed to listen. What a concept. Just stop.... listen ..... and then think ..... reflect ... and try to understand. Sometimes I'm too quick to jump in with a comment and I don't take the time to completely understand before I speak. I can't begin to count the times I've spoken up without knowing or understanding the facts or understanding the history, or understanding the culture.

I assume too often that everyone thinks like me, ....
or should think like me.
Or I assume that their thinking process is the same as mine.
If we're given the same information, we should come up with the same conclusion, right?????

Well, when you've put your foot in your mouth as many times as I have, you realize that
to respond without first listening and thinking is a very dangerous thing.
It's so much easier to make a quick judgment about a person or situation.

But ...

Wars have been fought ...

Marriages have fallen apart ...

People have become slaves ...

Churches have been ripped apart ...

because of people who have made assumptions or judgments without all of the facts.

Some assumptions I hear often are:

"ALL" Conservatives are negative control freaks ......

"ALL" Emergent churches are shallow focusing only on feelings .....

"ALL" Democrats are baby killers ....

"ALL" Blacks are in gangs and drive cadillacs....

"ALL" Women are fulfilled only when they become mothers ....

"ALL" people who attend Willow Creek are avoiding a deep commitment to Christ ....

"ALL" gun owners are secretly planning to overthrow the US Government ....

"ALL"
... a good word to be saved for verses in the Bible where God speaks truth.

"ALL"
... a word for me to be used after careful consideration.

***** Right now I'm asking God to help me to mature in the area of how I respond to others.

If the "Fruit of the Spirit" is evident in my life I have:

Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Self Control

Anyone of these qualities would prevent me from reacting in a negative way toward others.

I can't jump to a quick conclusion ...

if I love
and want the best for them
and I am patient
and self-controlled enough
to want only good for them.

I have an incredible sense of justice.

I don't want anyone to get ripped off,
or to be misunderstood,
or to be gossiped about,
or to disrespected, ...

I react quickly when I think there is a lack of justice!!!!!

Just ask Tim about the time when I told a guy in the audience at a ballet to show a little respect. It was not a pretty response.

Or the time I chased a guy in a car because he cut me off on the ramp and then I spilled my fries. (I came to my senses before anything stupid happened. But I made the quick assumption that he was a jerk and needed me to come and tell him that he was.)

But ... I'm learning (still in process by the way) to stop and try to understand first.

I guess, my quickest response is to people who
"I THINK"
make WRONG ASSUMPTIONS!!!

There are some verses in Proverbs that speak to this issue.

Proverbs 17:27-28 (New International Version)

27 A man (woman) of knowledge uses words with restraint,
and a man of understanding is even-tempered.

28 Even a fool is thought wise if he (she) keeps silent,
and discerning if he (she) holds his (her) tongue.

Ouch!!!! Why do so many of us feel like we have to be "know it alls."

"I'm the authority!"
"This is how it is!!!"

I'm sure we all have our areas of expertise. I know a thing or two about art and home repair. But the minute I forget to listen, or watch, or learn, or reflect, or understand people - I paint myself into a box of arrogant stupidity.

I really don't want to make assumptions about people.
I truly want to love and understand others for who they are.
Do I label people in wide sweeping statments because it helps organize the filing system in my small little mind? Or could it just be that three letter word - SIN!

Yuck!!! I've got the disease!

I don't want to make assumptions that I know as much as there is to know about every subject. There is that old saying, "the more you know, the less you realize you know." There's only one who knows all. Do I try to take God's place and pass myself off as the "ALL Knowing." There I go again - SIN!

Sometimes I even make assumptions about God.

Whew!!!!

That could be dangerous.
What God has given us in His Word is set in stone!!!!
There's no question about that.

.......... But how often do I expect things from Him - that He has never promised. "I know He'll make me happy .... I know He'll give me a husband .... I know I'll have enough money." Assumed expectations can lead to HUGE disappointment!

So, my challenge to myself and to whoever is reading this today is:

Stop.... Listen .....

and then just Think .....

Reflect ... and

TRY to Understand
with a heart of:

Love, Joy
Peace, Patience
Kindness, Goodness, Self Control

Liz :)

Change

As I sit here in Algonquin in the middle of boxes and listen to meloncholy music, I have a few seconds to think about "The BIG Change." Tommorrow at 8:30am the Allied semi will pull up to our driveway and "The BIG Change" will be pushed into high gear.

Last night a neighbor hosted a going away party for the kids and me. It was so beautiful to see all the faces I've taken for granted for my years in Algonqnquin.

Shelby-When we first met I thought we had nothing in common. 8 years later you're the one I've come to for a fresh brewed cup of coffee and talks about kids, husbands, faith, dreams, and disappointments. Your door has always been open and the cup is quickly in my hand. Thanks for sharing your life!

Tom-I guess, last night should have been my graduation from the "Mr. Tom School of Home Improvement." There have been roofs, vines, torch set-ups, sewers, water sepage, gutter rerouting, rotting siding, jack hammer lessons, great grass seed, door installations, giant pieces of cement pulled out with your trusty rusty truck, termite inspections, dead cat discoveries, always the right tool for the right job, and hospitality beyond imagination. I'm so thankful that you took us on as your "disabled homeowners" - project!!!!

Lisa-It started with coffee, a business that lasted through one show, sharing a heart for creative ventures, a passion for good deals, talks of kids, stress, music, and dreams. I first met Taylor, just after you moved to the neighborhood - she said, I hope you and my mom can be coffee buddies. And we became so much more! You've challenged me in more ways than you'll ever know.

Deidre-You challenged me to go beyond what I thought I could with my jewelry. You bought me the best book on Precious Metal Clay ever written. This led me on the road to certification. You were definitely the inspiration for me to push and try more. And Josh and Jessica have been such a blessing to my kids with day camps, church camps, trading babysitting and being good friends that they can count on, and that I can trust. Thanks!

CJ-The steady rock. Thanks for sharing your family.

Graham-I've loved our talks about tools, glass kiln plans, creative solutions and thanks for pitching in when you saw a need. You are one of the "GOOD GUYS."

Rebecca-You've opened your home to Heather and let her be the big sister to Katie. You've tolerated her swinging pre-teen moods and you've made her feel important. And you've been there in a pinch to pick up the kids or help out. Thanks!

Paul-Thanks for tolerating a crazy neighor who takes your wife shopping too much.

Pam-Our Yia-Yia!!! You would say I've done so much for you, but you've done so much for me. You welcomed me and the kids into your life, like we were family. We've shared our hearts and found out that we are "Twins from Different Mothers." You will always be our Yia-Yia!!!

Gloria-You traveled with us through the dark days of selling our house. You've been tolerant of all my phone calls and suggestions. Thanks for doing an amazing job for us.

Wow! What an amazing group of people. And how much I've been changed in the 8 1/2 years that we've been in Algonquin. Every person who comes into our lives changes us in one way or another. I've been challenged and changed in so many ways. And as I return to Peoria I'm not the person I was when I left. It's a new chapter in life but as I leave I take small bits from each of you. You've all reshaped and enriched my life.

I love you guys!!!! And I'll miss seeing you as often. But I know that we've had a time to walk along side of one another and share our lives. And I'm so thankful for that.

Keep in touch, but don't feel quilty if you don't. Our lives may move apart in distance but we will always have those small bits of change that we've caused in one another!!!!

On His Amazing journey,
Liz

M wrote:

Crack me up, Liz! How did I not open this email until today??? I'm not usually THIS delinquent.

I LOVED your email - - and I had to laugh my head off. I was a Campus Crusade baby - decided to follow Christ one minute, and join staff and change the world the second - worked on staff for 12 years after graduation. I LOVED sharing the 4 laws with anyone I could. And you know what - the formulas ARE a load of crap, Liz. I SO resonate with your sermon!

M


Liz wrote:
Hey M,
Your words are so encouraging to people who may feel consumed with guilt and the feeling of failure for not living up to our human expectations of shining the light.

Thanks so much for your honesty. And how exciting that you're seeing God live through you. This may just be a beautiful time in your life where you make some of the best friendships you've ever had.

Love you,
Liz

M wrote:
Liz,
You know what's so weird about living up to human expectations - - i.e. the law??? If you can manage it, and live up to it, it sure can give you a "sense of peace and righteousness." And that's the lie of it - - the Jews expounded on the law (as if it needed expanding) - so they would know exactly whether or not they measured up. It's all about measuring up, you know? If you do - WHEW! If not, well if you didn't know you sucked already - this would confirm it. And we (humans generally) INSIST on hanging onto the law. It's the time-clock we punch to feel good about our day.

Ah, true freedom is so illusive, yet so easy.

Gosh, I'm glad I met you, Liz. I LOVE the way you think and live life. Thanks for including me in that.

So in process,
M

The following is a response to an e-mail that
I received from a neat mom
at Zach's grade school:

Hi M,

So good to hear from you. Yes we do have a closing date it's March 16th at both places. And then the moving service will arrive on the 17th to unload all or our stuff. It's hard to leave with so many amazing people around here, but God's made it so clear that Peoria is the right thing for now.

Keep shining His light at School!!!!

On His amazing journey,

Liz

M wrote:

Yes, Liz, I have to admit - when I met you and realized your deep spiritual roots, I was SO sad when you guys made the move.
Any advice you have for shining that light would be appreciated. You have a lot more time invested, and spiritual wisdom I'd love to learn from. I know now is crazy - but anything you have to offer - I'll take it!

Praying for you all,

Mary

Liz wrote:

M,

It's never too busy/crazy to talk about one of my favorite subjects.

I think the main piece of advice I could give it is -

Be REAL

Be TRANSPARENT

(we're not perfect or without fear, sharing our humanity draws us together)

LOVE PEOPLE

I don't love because Jesus first loved me.
(Later commentary on this outrageous statement: When I love people I don't think to myself, "Jesus loved me, so I must love this person." "I love people as a response to a changed heart.)

I don't love to fulfill an evangelical agenda.

I love because my heart desires to love.

There are so many formulas out there. I think they're all a load of CRAP.

Oops! Was that too transparent?

Jesus was so simple in His words:

Love Him, love others,

serve Him, serve others.

I used to feel so guilty that I wasn't the "present The 4 Spirtual Laws" type of person. It all seemed so pre-packaged, uncomfortable. There were the steps I needed to memorize...

then I had to find the right transition....... blah, blah, blah, blah.

By simply living your life in front of others - your light will shine.

First they see your actions.

Your ridiculous honesty in all situations will seem strange to them.

When you return to Target to pay for that marker

that didn't go throught the check-out

the light will flash.

When you take cookies to a new neighbor,

shovel your older neighbors stairs,

offer to pick up someone's kids, ........

Your compassion,

Your willing heart,

These are acts that shine.

I see my kind of life as normal, average. That's just the way I live.

But ... it's very different from the way most people live.

I also used to think that the only way to become a Christian would be to have the
"Damascus Road Experience".

But I see many people ease into faith.

Part of easing into faith is seeing consistent faith in action.

They see peace in your eyes

and hear kindness in your words.

When the waves of pain flow into their lives - you will be the one they turn to.

You will be the one who cares.

When you ask them if you can pray for their situation, they know you are real in your faith.

Not a stranger on their doorstep speaking Christianeeze.

You're a friend. (You're a friend to them and they're a friend to you.)

The beautiful thing is that you don't even try to change them.

You just love them.

You live Jesus in front of them .

An amazing thing begins to happen on this journey -

your faith strengthens .....because you see their miracle of spiritual change.

You love

..........but in the end you are loved back.

Slowly the light begins to shine in another life

It's a GOD THING.

Well, that's my sermon for today!!!! I hope this encourages you!

On His amazing journey,

Liz Barnes

Intro to "Ear in the Envelope"

Today I begin the blogging journey.

I've titled my blog "Ear in the Envelope."

If you're familiar with a little art history you will remember that Vincent Van Gogh - in a moment of frustration and insanity cut off his ear lobe and placed it in an envelope. Some claim Van Gogh later visited a brothel to present the severed lobe to a prostitute named Rachel. I hope to capture the same passion. In the middle of this chaotic world, how should we live and respond.

Van Gogh is one of my favorite characters. His life was intense! But through that intensity there are interesting situations that make me think!

Here's a list of some of my favorite bits of information about Vincent:

1. His father was a pastor.
Hmmm, I wonder what impact that relationship had on his faith?

2. He was unsure of his purpose in life and searched passionately for an answer.

3. He wanted to be a pastor and began to prepare for that life, but the Greek and Hebrew were more that he could handle.
What kinds of things get in our way and prevent us from doing what we want or feel like we should do?

4. He became a missionary to miners in South Belgium. He was determined to live in the imitation of Christ but his extreme behavior and the fact that he gave his money and clothing away alarmed the missions organization and they soon asked him to leave.
He was compassionate to the poor, he wanted to imitate Christ.....

5. He was never self-sufficient. His brother Theo supported him financially most of his adult life.
Did this bother him? Could I live this way being totally dependent. Should I live this way when it comes to my "Heavenly Father?"

6. His life was a clear spiritual battle.
His life was extreme. It's pretty accepted that he had some type of mental illness. But is the spiritual battle as clearly played out in my life? Do I live as if the idea of spiritual battle is a conversation only for a Bible class? Am I sensative enough to know when God is working in my life? Do I know when satan is pulling me in the wrong direction?

7. He was who he was. He was not trying to follow the fashions of others.

"Ear in the Envelope" is a place to answer questions like these.

It is a place to share truth,
truth about ourselves,
about life,
and about OUR FATHER.

It is a place to ask questions without fear.
It is a place to open our hearts in honesty.

This is a place to learn to "LIVE" in Christ.

Liz