Take time to understand

Whew!!!

It's been a while since I've blogged. Moving to Peoria a few months ago, getting settled, and homeschooling my daughter, Heather, have consumed a lot of my time and my brain. It's weird when you have those times in life where you just don't know what to say. Maybe there's nothing left inside my brain. I think when kids come to live with you - your brain starts to leak out until finally it's all gone. But... I think this has been one of those times in my life when I've just needed to listen. What a concept. Just stop.... listen ..... and then think ..... reflect ... and try to understand. Sometimes I'm too quick to jump in with a comment and I don't take the time to completely understand before I speak. I can't begin to count the times I've spoken up without knowing or understanding the facts or understanding the history, or understanding the culture.

I assume too often that everyone thinks like me, ....
or should think like me.
Or I assume that their thinking process is the same as mine.
If we're given the same information, we should come up with the same conclusion, right?????

Well, when you've put your foot in your mouth as many times as I have, you realize that
to respond without first listening and thinking is a very dangerous thing.
It's so much easier to make a quick judgment about a person or situation.

But ...

Wars have been fought ...

Marriages have fallen apart ...

People have become slaves ...

Churches have been ripped apart ...

because of people who have made assumptions or judgments without all of the facts.

Some assumptions I hear often are:

"ALL" Conservatives are negative control freaks ......

"ALL" Emergent churches are shallow focusing only on feelings .....

"ALL" Democrats are baby killers ....

"ALL" Blacks are in gangs and drive cadillacs....

"ALL" Women are fulfilled only when they become mothers ....

"ALL" people who attend Willow Creek are avoiding a deep commitment to Christ ....

"ALL" gun owners are secretly planning to overthrow the US Government ....

"ALL"
... a good word to be saved for verses in the Bible where God speaks truth.

"ALL"
... a word for me to be used after careful consideration.

***** Right now I'm asking God to help me to mature in the area of how I respond to others.

If the "Fruit of the Spirit" is evident in my life I have:

Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Self Control

Anyone of these qualities would prevent me from reacting in a negative way toward others.

I can't jump to a quick conclusion ...

if I love
and want the best for them
and I am patient
and self-controlled enough
to want only good for them.

I have an incredible sense of justice.

I don't want anyone to get ripped off,
or to be misunderstood,
or to be gossiped about,
or to disrespected, ...

I react quickly when I think there is a lack of justice!!!!!

Just ask Tim about the time when I told a guy in the audience at a ballet to show a little respect. It was not a pretty response.

Or the time I chased a guy in a car because he cut me off on the ramp and then I spilled my fries. (I came to my senses before anything stupid happened. But I made the quick assumption that he was a jerk and needed me to come and tell him that he was.)

But ... I'm learning (still in process by the way) to stop and try to understand first.

I guess, my quickest response is to people who
"I THINK"
make WRONG ASSUMPTIONS!!!

There are some verses in Proverbs that speak to this issue.

Proverbs 17:27-28 (New International Version)

27 A man (woman) of knowledge uses words with restraint,
and a man of understanding is even-tempered.

28 Even a fool is thought wise if he (she) keeps silent,
and discerning if he (she) holds his (her) tongue.

Ouch!!!! Why do so many of us feel like we have to be "know it alls."

"I'm the authority!"
"This is how it is!!!"

I'm sure we all have our areas of expertise. I know a thing or two about art and home repair. But the minute I forget to listen, or watch, or learn, or reflect, or understand people - I paint myself into a box of arrogant stupidity.

I really don't want to make assumptions about people.
I truly want to love and understand others for who they are.
Do I label people in wide sweeping statments because it helps organize the filing system in my small little mind? Or could it just be that three letter word - SIN!

Yuck!!! I've got the disease!

I don't want to make assumptions that I know as much as there is to know about every subject. There is that old saying, "the more you know, the less you realize you know." There's only one who knows all. Do I try to take God's place and pass myself off as the "ALL Knowing." There I go again - SIN!

Sometimes I even make assumptions about God.

Whew!!!!

That could be dangerous.
What God has given us in His Word is set in stone!!!!
There's no question about that.

.......... But how often do I expect things from Him - that He has never promised. "I know He'll make me happy .... I know He'll give me a husband .... I know I'll have enough money." Assumed expectations can lead to HUGE disappointment!

So, my challenge to myself and to whoever is reading this today is:

Stop.... Listen .....

and then just Think .....

Reflect ... and

TRY to Understand
with a heart of:

Love, Joy
Peace, Patience
Kindness, Goodness, Self Control

Liz :)